Supporting a family member struggling with alcohol or drug addiction can be one of the most challenging and emotionally fraught experiences. As an addiction psychiatrist, I’ve seen how crucial the role of loved ones can be in encouraging someone to seek detox and continued medical treatment. Proper preparation and support can make a significant difference in your loved one’s journey to recovery.
Below are some strategies to help prepare a friend or family member for detox, including what to do if they are unsure about seeking help.
Understanding Detox and Its Role in Recovery
Detoxification, or detox, is the process of clearing drugs or alcohol from the body while managing physical withdrawal symptoms, sleep changes, mood changes, and cravings. The acute detox period usually lasts 5-7 days, depending on the substance.
While detox is often the first step toward recovery, it’s important to understand that detox alone is not sufficient for addiction treatment—it’s a starting point for a longer recovery process. Detox can be physically uncomfortable and emotionally challenging, so approaching your loved one with compassion and understanding is essential.
Preparing a Willing Loved One for Detox
If your loved one is open to the idea of detox, here’s how you can help:
- Research Treatment Options
Identify detox centers or programs that align with your loved one’s needs. Shatterproof is an unbiased, evidence-based website where you can search for trusted, quality treatment facilities. Consider factors such as the type of addiction, severity of addiction, medical history, any co-occurring mental health conditions, and insurance type. - Address Practical Concerns
Help your loved one navigate logistical issues, such as taking time off work, arranging child or pet care, or handling financial responsibilities. Reducing these stressors can make them feel more prepared and less overwhelmed. - Provide Emotional Support
Acknowledge their fears and validate their courage in taking this step. Let them know you’ll be there to support them throughout the process. Encourage open and nonjudgmental communication. Avoid getting angry or frustrated if your loved one hesitates about seeking treatment. This is normal. Seek instead to understand their concerns. - Encourage a Medical Evaluation
A doctor or addiction specialist can assess your loved one’s physical and mental health, recommend the appropriate level of care, and ensure that detox is safe for them. Here at Aware Recovery Care, we provide a comprehensive, no-cost medical evaluation to determine and recommend the appropriate level of treatment care. - Help Pack Essentials
Work with them to prepare for their stay, ensuring they have personal items such as comfortable clothing, toiletries, and a journal for reflection.
When a Loved One Refuses Detox
If your loved one has concerns about the idea of detox or doesn’t believe they need help, the situation becomes more complex. Here’s how to approach this more challenging scenario:
- Educate Yourself
Learn about addiction as a chronic disease. Understanding the biological, psychological, and social factors behind substance use disorders can help you approach the situation with empathy rather than frustration. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website is a great starting place for self-education on the disease of addiction, mental health conditions, and available resources. - Communicate Effectively
- Choose the Right Moment: Wait until they are sober, rested, and relatively calm to have a conversation.
- Use “I” Statements: Express your concerns without blaming. For example, say, “I’m worried about your health” instead of “You need to stop drinking.”
- Avoid Confrontation: Anger or accusations can lead to defensiveness and shut down communication.
- Set Boundaries
While it’s important to offer support, enabling destructive behavior can be harmful. Setting clear boundaries—such as not providing money or covering for their actions—can motivate them to reconsider their choices. It’s key to convey these boundaries in a neutral, straightforward, non-accusatory tone. - Consider an Intervention
A structured intervention, led by a professional, can be an effective way to help your loved one see the impact of their addiction on themselves and others. Check out our article on intervention tips for more detailed support on how to have these conversations. - Focus on Harm Reduction and Moderation Management
If your loved one is unwilling to seek detox, encourage small changes that reduce immediate harm, such as cutting back on substance use or staying hydrated. Offer to accompany them to a medical check-up or a support group meeting, even if they’re not ready for detox. Be patient. True, sustained, meaningful change takes time. You can find more helpful information about harm reduction on SAHMSA’s website here. - Take Care of Yourself
Supporting someone with addiction can be draining. Seek out support groups such as Al-Anon or therapy for yourself. Caring for your own mental health will make you a stronger advocate for your loved one.
Understanding the Power of Hope and Persistence
Change often happens gradually. Even if your loved one initially resists detox, seeds of change may be planted through your ongoing support and encouragement. Recovery is a journey, not a single event. Setbacks are learning parts of the process.
Final Thoughts
Helping a loved one navigate addiction is a difficult and emotional task, but your support can be life-changing. Try to approach the situation with patience, compassion, and persistence. Whether your loved one is ready for detox or not, your encouragement and presence can be the foundation they need to take the first step toward recovery.
Aware Recovery Care Is Here to Help
If you or a loved one is struggling with an addiction to alcohol, opioids, or other drugs during the holidays and need help in Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Virginia, Georgia, Florida, Ohio, Kentucky, or Indiana, the recovery teams at Aware Recovery Care are here to help. And we come to you, regardless of where you live. Our unique in-home treatment model of care gives clients a significantly better chance of recovery than traditional inpatient rehab care. We are now offering Virtual Detox and Medication Assisted Treatment in New Hampshire, Connecticut, Virginia, Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio as well. Please get in touch with one of our Recovery Specialists to learn more.
